Felt the Fear, Did it Anyways…

…didn’t puke.

 

I auditioned for a musical on Tuesday. I can’t begin to tell you the years I shaved off my life worrying about it.

You see, I’ve always wanted to do a musical, they look like such fun. Problem #1 – Sean and my kitties are the only ones to have heard me sing. Sean can’t carry a tune in a bucket (sorry hun) and my kitties always run away. Not much of a boost for the ol’ confidence. So I got a vocal coach. stuck with her for a few months before schedules became too erratic. But, I augmented my audience by 1, and she didn’t shove me out the door covering her bleeding ears after my lessons, so that’s a good thing.

Problem #2 – I was scared. Like, ridiculously scared. It’s the perfectionist in me. I don’t want to disappoint, so I didn’t put myself out there. The theater group I work with now is like family, I love them. But they’ve never heard me sing. They think I’m talented. I didn’t want to tarnish that if I sucked at singing.

Problem #3 – The mere thought of getting on the stage and singing had my insides churning all day, and I was afraid I would lose my lunch.

But with a little encouragement from Sean and my voice coach, and a committing post to my Making Things Happen group, I found myself driving to the audition. To be completely honest, I cried before leaving my house. I was that scared, but the thought of chickening out pissed me off more. So the entire drive I kept expecting myself to turn the car around.

But I didn’t. And by the time I’d gotten there, the original crowd had dissipated so I went in almost immediately. The time came to sing and I just did it. And I didn’t suck. I got good feedback.

And I didn’t puke. This is key.

I left still shaking, but I was empowered. If I get a role, great. If I don’t, it’s OK. The important thing is that I did it. I put myself out there. You miss 100% of the shots you never take.

I felt the fear, did it anyway, and am all the stronger for it.

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2 responses

  1. I am very proud of you. You were afraid of something, but you faced your fears and that is almost always the hardest part. Often times we find that the fear we had was unfounded. But you never know if you don’t take the plunge. Keep up the good work!

  2. Brie – you don’t give yourself enough credit. You have a lovely voice. Remember singing in church one Sunday with Devon’s youth band when the lead singer couldn’t be there? You did a great job, and everyone thought it was just wonderful. I know that’s not quite the same as singing in a musical, but you’re much better than you give yourself credit for. I, on the other hand, sing in public all the time and most definitely shouldn’t.

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