I auditioned for a musical on Tuesday. I can’t begin to tell you the years I shaved off my life worrying about it.
You see, I’ve always wanted to do a musical, they look like such fun. Problem #1 – Sean and my kitties are the only ones to have heard me sing. Sean can’t carry a tune in a bucket (sorry hun) and my kitties always run away. Not much of a boost for the ol’ confidence. So I got a vocal coach. stuck with her for a few months before schedules became too erratic. But, I augmented my audience by 1, and she didn’t shove me out the door covering her bleeding ears after my lessons, so that’s a good thing.
Problem #2 – I was scared. Like, ridiculously scared. It’s the perfectionist in me. I don’t want to disappoint, so I didn’t put myself out there. The theater group I work with now is like family, I love them. But they’ve never heard me sing. They think I’m talented. I didn’t want to tarnish that if I sucked at singing.
Problem #3 – The mere thought of getting on the stage and singing had my insides churning all day, and I was afraid I would lose my lunch.
But with a little encouragement from Sean and my voice coach, and a committing post to my Making Things Happen group, I found myself driving to the audition. To be completely honest, I cried before leaving my house. I was that scared, but the thought of chickening out pissed me off more. So the entire drive I kept expecting myself to turn the car around.
But I didn’t. And by the time I’d gotten there, the original crowd had dissipated so I went in almost immediately. The time came to sing and I just did it. And I didn’t suck. I got good feedback.
And I didn’t puke. This is key.
I left still shaking, but I was empowered. If I get a role, great. If I don’t, it’s OK. The important thing is that I did it. I put myself out there. You miss 100% of the shots you never take.
I felt the fear, did it anyway, and am all the stronger for it.